The costs of reproductive conflict can shape the evolution of life histories in animal societies. These costs may change as individuals age and grow, and with within-group competition. Social costs of reproductive conflict have been invoked to explain why females might gain from delaying maturity or ceasing reproduction midway through life, but not in males. Here we analyze more than 20 years of data to understand how individual male banded mongooses adjust their reproductive activity in response to the costs of reproductive conflict. In banded mongoose groups, multiple female breeders enter oestrus synchronously who are each guarded by a single male who aggressively wards off rivals. The heaviest males in the group gained the greatest share of paternity. Those lighter males that are reproductively active paid disproportionate survival costs, and by engaging in reproductive activity early had lower lifetime reproductive success. Our results suggest that reproductive inactivity early in life is adaptive, as males recoup any lost fitness by first growing before engaging in less costly and more profitable reproductive activity later in life. These results suggest that resource holding potential (RHP) of males and the intensity of reproductive conflict interact to shape lifetime schedules of reproductive behaviour.